Happy Valentine’s Day

 

 

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Valentine’s Day

It’s just the one day out of 365 where the America (and other parts of the world) celebrates love with tons of money spent on this one day.  Love is so many more things that just that one day. I am not against Valentine’s day. I even like it for what it is, a day.  But Love should also be celebrated daily, on the other 364 remaining days as well.

There are so many, sad to say or even think, do not know what love is. Some believe it is the ooey gooey feeling you get when you are with someone. Others think it is someone you care deeply about. Is that really love? Or perhaps parts of both? I was once both of those people. Don’t get me wrong, you do have to care deeply about the one(s) you love and, sure feelings often are there.

I remember a guy I was dating a while back, we went to see the movie “Love Actually”.  Now I liked this guy and thought I was in love but really didn’t have a clue. The movie depicted several different types of love from puppy love between children to a best man in love with another’s bride, and everything else in between. I remember watching that movie and crying during the movie because the guy I was with did not love me like any of what was shown and that was what I wanted most.  It wasn’t until years later that I learned what love really was and that I realized that I did NOT love him, I ooey gooeyed him if you will.  Love is so much more than feelings. Feelings may be there in the beginning (in a relationship) but feelings won’t keep you there. Love is a decision. You have to decide to love someone every single day. That is the stuff of long-lasting marriages.  Deciding to love someone every day in spite of. Every. Single. Day.

And then there is the highest love of all, Agape love. Jesus is Agape love, Christ’s love for mankind. He loves us so much that He died for us so we could have eternal life. He is one that doesn’t needed begging, pleading or crying to get His love, He already loves us! Even before we were even born, He loved us.  He loves YOU!

As you prepare for this Valentine’s day, no matter who you are with or where you are, don’t fret if you don’t have that special someone to love or a “Valentine”. Love yourself!  Love a child. Volunteer!  But most importantly on this day, remember, YOU ARE LOVED even if you believe that no one else on earth loves you. Jesus loves YOU.  Yes even you, no matter what.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Happy Valentine’s Day

 

Join  me at The Online Singles Conference 2018   http://bit.ly/2F2Ghd9

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Sexual harassment

Many women and some men are coming forward with claims of sexual harassment in the workplace, schools, extracurricular activities and the like. This is well overdue. No one should be subjected to verbally abusive words, suggestive jokes and/or comments and physical touching against their will. It is worse when the victims are underage and if in a Manager/employee position. I don’t equate the two but I think you understand my point.

I wonder what makes men think that this is okay.  Is it poor impulse control, poor self-control, feelings of power or what?!  I mean how can this make them feel powerful to touch someone without permission?  They have to know this is wrong on so many levels. I truly think if they do it once it empowers them to do it again and in some case over and over until they are exposed.

Just this week, Larry Nassar TEAM USA team doctor for gymnasts including Olympic stars, who admitted to sexually abusing young girls/children for over 20 yrs, was sentenced to 60 years in prison for child pornography.  Sentencing is pending for the sexual abuse. This man was clearly in a position of power over these young girls and he had to know it was wrong on some level. Right?  I am sure some of those young girls, who didn’t know may not have known better, could have thought his behavior was normal. His is an extreme case but what kind of psychological madness does this have to be for one to act in this manner?  I know that monster Harvey Weinstein is regretting his past behavior he once considered normal.  At least I hope so. There are so many others in the public eye who are being exposed and many more in everyday regular life.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that I too have been sexually harassed. Whether it was as simple as a catcall or those sexually suggestive jokes or to actually being physically touched on my rear end. I too, like many people, did not report any of it.  I  just brushed it off. And perhaps by my brushing it off may have led one of those perverts to do it to someone else and for that I apologize. I will no longer brush it off. I will speak up and do something about it.

If you are sexually harassed in ANY manner, please speak up and “if you see something, say something.”  It is not your fault. Not your clothes, not your walk, not your body parts are a cause for you to be sexually harassed.  Lets teach our children this is not okay at ANY age.

 

Words are powerful

Words imageWords are very powerful, they have the power to build someone up or tear someone down.  “Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.  My mother taught me that saying and I suppose we all have heard that saying before at one time or the other.   Well I am sorry to disappoint you but words DO hurt.  I have been on both ends of receiving hurtful words and using them.  Words that were meant to hurt, inflict pain.  And a most of the time, words spoken to be mean or in anger cannot be retrieved once spoken.  That would be like trying to straighten a piece of paper that has been balled up. It is still paper but now has wrinkles. It will  never be the same.

Today is now 2017 and bullying and cyber bullying is way out of control.  I think it is much more prevalent now because of Social media. Many people feel anonymous sitting behind a keyboard and posting words, making comments that they wouldn’t ordinarily say to someone in person.  Many people have lost jobs/careers for such activity.  They forget that they are not really anonymous. I think they feel empowered not being face to face. A blessing and a curse.

It is so much worse in schools. We know that some people can be really cruel, particularly teenagers. I am not referring to all teens but I think you know what I mean.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t hear of what is going on in the schools.  Kids 12 yrs -13 yrs, babies really, and even older teens, committing suicide because they felt their lives weren’t worth living due to what is being said about them on social media.  Now I am not a teenager, but I was once upon a time and I too was bullied. It was not cyber bullying back then but it is bullying nonetheless.  Cyber bullying is just bullying to the Nth power.

  • I wonder why didn’t the schools take a stronger stance against bullying before these kids took their lives.
  • I wonder why parents don’t monitor their own kids social media accounts, even the teenagers.
  • I wonder why we live in a society were more people don’t speak up for those who feel they can’t speak for themselves.
  • I wonder why we can’t all live by this bible verse, Proverbs 16:24  Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.  

Words have power to build up or to destroy. What words are you using?  Choose wisely.

Back to writing

After 2 years, I am back to writing on my blog. A lot has happened in 2 years. I got a new job, bought a new car, volunteered, and got a new hair do!  Tons of other stuff have happened too but too many to mention. I will continue to write if but once a month. I will be writing more frequently and hopefully won’t take that long of a break again.

 

 

Trying to fit in

All my life I always felt out of place. I didn’t fit in. Moving to the south as a 10 year old from  Maryland, I spoke differently than the other kids. I was laughed at and because I was the new kid, I changed my speech to fit in. It drove my mother crazy!  I would say “git” for “get” on purpose as my mom tried to correct me. She didn’t understand I was trying to fit in. In the 6th grade, preparing for school pictures my mom fixed my hair without pony tails like the other kids and I really liked it.  When I got to school, the kids laughed at me. I ran home and created my own pony tails with a part down the middle, as was the style in that era and took my picture. I was trying to fit in.

There were many other times that I wanted to be like other people. There was the time in high school where one of my friends had a very gummy smile. She was somewhat popular and I soon found myself smiling in the same manner. I quickly caught myself when I realized it wasn’t very flattering on me.

It wasn’t until after college that I started to embrace my individuality. I was one of 2 black students who graduated in my nursing class. I had my  picture in the local paper during a nursing shortage in the 80`s. Gold jewelry was in vogue back then; I wore silver. My friends and my sister all dressed alike as we went to a nightclub one night. I wore a totally different outfit. I started sewing and wore “homemade” outfits (they were cute though).

I finally have embraced being “different” and stopped trying to fit in. Every once in a while negative thoughts creep in and I have to check myself.  I had to learn to be okay with how I dress, sound, what I look like regardless of what others say or think. I don’t have low self esteem, not any more, but that is another post for another day.  I like who I have become and it is great being different;  we are all the same,  yet all different.

I am a great “me” and a poor imitation of someone else.

Be different….I dare you.

 

Bushes

As I was leaving the garage and passed the shrubbery (they were called bushes when I was growing up) and there were a few branches shooting upwards on this particular one. My first thought was that they were praising God. OK I get it you say they were growing in response the Sun. I say they were reaching  to the Son!  Shrubbery praising God?  Why not?  God created them too. In fact, God created everything for His Glory, not ours. Just a random thought today.

Check out this bible verse:

Praise the Lord from the earth, You great sea creatures and all the depths; Fire and hail, snow and clouds; Stormy wind, fulfilling His word; Mountains and all hills; Fruitful trees and all cedars; Beasts and all cattle; Creeping things and flying fowl; Kings of the earth and all peoples; Princes and all judges of the earth; Both young men and maidens; Old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord , For His name alone is exalted; His glory is above the earth and heaven.

Psalms 148:7-13 NKJV

http://bible.com/114/psa.148.7-13.NKJV